February 28, 2017 by babylondogs
Dear God. I am ashamed of my past. I am embarrassed by who I was. Who I am. My weaknesses have been scrutinized. My vulnerabilities have been exposed. I feel alone, anxious, ashamed. So. I come to you on my knees. Should I grovel? It seems like it’s all I have left. And yet, you don’t seem to require it. God, there is only you, so why do I live outside the nucleus of your will? Why do I harden my heart? Why do I hide behind a feeble shield of pride and panic? I want to be a new man. Something about the truth setting me free. God. Help me. Please. I get little sleep. I get little nutrition. I am the red headed stepchild of my own undoing. And yet … God, please heed my alarm. I want to be a good man, of good will, but I can’t seem to relinquish the garbage of my garbled memories. Please, please, please! I need you.